Yes. ‘Cosmic fucking wank’ is a measurement of how crap something can be and, my god, since it was used by Indy journalist Tom Peck to describe one of the many thousand product press releases that landed on his desk the other week, I will be trying to work it into my life.
On my weekly readings of various magazines I came across this gloriously brilliant spewing of rage at someone. Yes, its mean. And yes, the PR who sent him the press release was only doing their job. But you’ve got to hand it to Tom Peck for the irresistibly quotable rage.
From Private Eye April (5-18 April)
Last week Independent hack Tom Peck struck a blow for over-informed journalists everywhere when he finally snapped and sent a reply to the 9994th email from a PR pushing a product and claiming “I hope this news story brightens up your Wednesday!”
“Well it doesn’t brighten up my fucking day does it, because it’s fucking bollocks, and I will get a million more like it within the next ten minutes, making it near on impossible not to miss the important stuff I do need to read, because you pricks insist on sending me cosmic fucking wank like this,” ran his unimprovable riposte.
For the PR I imagine a savagely bollocks day followed, and then after a while they would become that-guy-with-the-cosmic-fucking-wank-press-release. Or maybe that’ll be the last irrelevant purely product based story the PR company sends – probably not as Tom Peck was made to apologise by his editor.
All I need to do now is find the perfect time to use this phrase, preferably mid-rant.
Corrosive Rubber Ducky 